Its been a while!!!

Its been a while since my last entry, its terrible i know, but, im back, and im gonna make this an everyday thing....that is all!!!!

My Life!!! Bringing 2009 to a close!!!

Honestly, i'd be on here writing a book if i really tried to recap all of wut has happened in 2009, even half of it, ill just say that ive learned alot this year, about myself, and others, unfortunately more bad than good, but its wutever.....lookin forward to this new year, time to start fresh!!!!

New Semester old problems!!

Boy O Boy- i leave a semester with drama and fall right back into it. Its Fall 09 and some of the same retarded shit has managed to creep onto my heels again. I know where its coming from and how to stop it. Maybe i like the drama, or being in the center of it. Oh well theres my complaint for the day!

DOGHOUSE!!! AGAIN!!!!

Wow....woke up this morning to sum real B.S.. Couldnt even go back to sleep off this mess. well heres the scenario. I dont know who i shuld be pissed at my parents or my sister or both even tho currently its towards both. Well i went to Ocean City this past weekend and sumhow i lost my wallet containing my social security card insurannce card and drivers license. BLOWER!!! This large part of this week has been me stranded at home because 1. no license and 2. my fathers taking his sweet ass time with fixing his car. He had to drive the truck while his car was pulled "apart" (hes done now by the way)well....i went to the MVA yesterday to get a replacement Drivers license. after waiting in those long ass lines i get up to the counter give the lady my birth certificate and social ssecurity number. She takes my picture, and then i wait for her response. She then proceeds to tell me that my social security number is invalid? After she just pulled up all my information with it. all my specs came up on-screen wen she put it in. makes no sense right? well n e ways, after waiting in that line i am still license-less.......i go home.....and chill for a bit........>>>>>>FAst Forward>>>>>>>I wake up this morning to my sister coming into my room asking for gas money....i'm like ??????? "ur not taking the truck" and she responds "yes i am, ask daddy" so the first thing i do is call my father.....as i do so she runs out the house and leaves........so i talk to my father and basically, chelsea(my sister) told my parents that she "had" to help one of her teacher transport sum stuff and she "needed" the truck. now <<<<<< Rewind <<<<<<<< My sister got her provisional license oh......id say about 2 weeks ago......the instructor who administered the test to her, pulled my dad to the side and told him not to let her drive because she lacked the experience to drive by herself.......in hearing this my fathertook heed, or so i thought. Not even a week later without anymore practicing with them, she's frickin driving......but hey i cant get too mad.....this isnt a new pattern for my parents....they do this kind of thing all the time......but this time its really affecting me and them......me not having a license means alot of things.....1. no driving of course (so they get to cart me around like a child) 2. no job (no buses or trains are walkable) 3. now instead of sending me on errands they have to do them theirselves....idk about you but that sux.....which wuld kinda make my getting a new license a little important.....OR NOT!!! they cant even feign ignorance because they knew the conflict at the MVA and knew wut i had to do (go to the social security office to get a new sscard and then go back to the mva) i just dont understand....these lil stupid ass games puts me in the doghouse as IDA plainly put it as a comment on my status. This is one of the long list of bad things that have happened to me in the last week or so.....i dont know wut i did to deserve all this...but its not worth it..once again im finishing last....this shit f***ing sux.....

GIZMO REVIEW INCOMING

In the next couple of weeks i will be purchasing the HP Mini 1115NR 8.9" Netbook PC....
Ive heard a lot of things both good and bad about this brilliant pience of technology, heres a view specs on it:
• Intel® Atom™ Processor N270(3)
• Genuine Windows® XP Home Edition with Service
Pack 3(1)(20a)
• 8.9” Diagonal WSVGA(8) BrightView Widescreen Display
(1024 x 600)
• Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 950 (shared) with up to
64MB Total Available Graphics Memory
• 512MB DDR2 System Memory (1 Dimm)
• 8GB (Solid State Drive Flash Module)(7)
• 802.11b/g WLAN (10a)

I'M Quitin

Intro: since July of last summer i have been and avid smoker.....ive smoked a lot of stuff....but i digress...this entry is the start of what I'd like to call "SMOKERS ANONYMOUS". every day i will log my smoking activity.....in my road to giving up the habit.......

I will start with the last day i smoked......6/8/09 monday........this was my last ciggarette date.....oh my....lol....about 2 days so far......we will see wut happens...;)

CHivalry aint dead...its just on life support!!!!!

"Chivalry is dead" is what most would say......i dont agree.....as long as there is one person living a chivalrous life keeps it ALIVE!!!!.......i must say...i know how i live and chivalry is a code that i will turn away from....fuck all the non-chivalrous people......selfish asses...it makes me sick....how people are so selfish, shady, and inconsiderate....wheres yallls home training.....people may make fun of me...say wut i do is useless.....oooo...i have to look out for me......and no one else...fuck that Bullshit....GOD put us on earth to live and prosper through not only ourself but via others....we r our brothers keeper...dont care wut u think...we r.....all this must stop.....we r merely bastardizations of what the great lord wants us to be.....shootin, stabbin, killing each other physically, mentally, and emotionally....the damage is becoming un repairable.......i stand alone...as a silent soldier for the cause....never acknowledged or praised i do my part to keep it alive......but its ok..ill get my reward eventually...we will see...i will be happy in the end....we people finish last as they say....i think we are constantly winning...just not in big ways.....i am a winner...i have had the pleasure of experiencing some of the best feelings in the world....the love of a caring family.....a "whole" family.......not much drama.....the ability to love another human being......and i mean truly love them...and friends who ginuinely care for me......i mean people who would gladly give their life so that mine would go on as i would do for them at a seconds notice.........a lot of people cant say they have had this and im thankful for every agonizing moment.......forgive my boasting but thats just my reward.........Ihave enemies everywhere....correction... i have "haters" everywhere..........dont worry bout me and what i do.....im doing the right thing....and i watching you do the wrong thing.......you have no authority to judge me.....as neither do i to you......i cant help my nature...i love people....i have empathy beyond all others.....my compasion is vast for anyone in my path.....this unconditional caring is my gift...and my curse......but its alright.....me being the way i am allows me to lay back out of the spotlight and evaluate not judge the people.......and ;ate;y people have just been pissing me off....its actually sad but i find it funny....ive realized something about people although some may seem extroverted...the most of us harbor feelings way deeper than we should....whether it be the fear of exposing sensitive subjects or the worry of appearing weak.....we all do it.....its gotten so bad that people will make up anything to themselves to sike their own minds out.....sad right.....if soething is there its there...if its not its not......if you are in a bad situation or you can foresee bad things coming out of your situation....get the fuck out....y is it so hard.....its not.....you shuld be in control of your feelings.......not anyone else...even if it takes a lil time..its ok but dont stay in detrimental situations......especially if there is a better alternative......even if there isnt one get out.....it will only leave a bad mark on your character......which will affect you despite wut u think.....bad situations......i swear..people take each other for granted until its too late.....im not gonna sit through sum dumb shit...immma keepin it moving....we may be young but as we all should know that life is as short as today...tommorrow.....yesterday....... im pretty sure we all know of someone our ages that have died.....their gone....no more them...and what are some of them doing now.....yeah they may be up in the sky or down below....looking back at their lives kicking themselves because they now see what they couldve done different during their short lives.....people they may have hurt....and left on earth.....that must really suck...the regret youll have to live with for the rest of eternity.......im just saying...that people are creating future regrets and dont even know it...and wont know it until its too late......and this is on top of all the regrets they may possibly have.....at the current moment....all of this bogs down our souls and our character....damaged goods as they would say.....tsk tsk tsk......yeah i have regrets.....but i have reconciled them and feel like a better person because of it........people people people....im just saying that you have to be more caring....open yourself more often...even if its with yourself....we must understand ourselves be 4 we can even fathom trying to understand others...i learned this the hard way...i had to almost die to figure it out...but i believe its easier than that....all these insecurities....are eating away at our character.....making us selfish.....we cant go on like this....do what you have to do to satisfy yourself and dont settle for just comforbility......you have to look at it like this.....you are the best....there is and will ever be.....so you deserve the best....treat yourself to sumthin on your level...dont just settle......please take this into consideration..please...im tired of all the bullshit....and bitchassness......man the fuck up!!!!!

My Prayer.......

Praise be to GOD...as they say.....today i had a moment to myself to think/pray about myself and those around me....if you no me well enough you no that i am constantly evaluating myself and those around me....figguring out qualities of myself that may or may not need to be removed.....and the qualities in others in which are harmful to me.......sry for the rant...but back to the entry at hand.....i had a moment and decided to pray today, not just for myself for alot of people...
1.) I wanted to say a few words for my fell college attendee Corey Reddick . I know i did no you, prolly saw u a few times but non-the-less, im praying for your family and close friends who need a hand in handling your passing, i ask the lord to bless you and them, and give them strength to live on in your absence and remember your life and not your death. It is always hard to loose someone young.....the big man upstairs must have really needed you and im glad that u may now enjoy the splenders of his kingdom.....for all those mourning you i say this.......i know its hard and it may be overwhelming but just try and remember his life and not this tragedy.....
2.) I have realized how far i have fallen from your grace lord and i am now strong enough to make the journey to your embrace......I am truly thankful for the wonderful family and friends in my life which hold me together wen my own two feet can't....I thank you for my life, and every day you have woken me up from my slumber to further serve your word....I would like for you to bless my family and friends and their families.....also for mine enemies, please look over then and help settle any quams they may have with me, with you by my side i shalt not falter.....i would qoute psalms 23 but its a lil too long...i figured you already know it anyways.....that piece of scripture stood out to me today at the memorial service for Corey today which was not only enlightening but also moving....I thank you for this message that you have sent to me amongst this tragedy.....life is short and i can't keep this space between us......my arms are now open to embrace you..as yours have been for me my whole life......Take me into your heart of hearts.....IM READY!!

REALization!!!!!!

ok....ive figured this for a while but im finally concretely satisfied with this conclusion........ok......i have realized sumthin...i am a man who needs structure...support...foundation of some sort in my life.....this goes for everything......espescially wen it comes to relationships......like a and architect drawing a house..i have to b percise in the structure of my building.....any imperfections can lead to disaster....the smallest imperfect detail can make everything go bad......this process takes alot out of me physically and emotionally......i have preset rules and guidelines in which ensures balance...and lasting results....i need a friend in a girl....sum one who is caring, loving, smart, so on and so forth.......i need an all around great person...to stand by me........we shall both use each other as a crunch for the hardships we face on a daily basis...sumone who i can feel safe with......sumo ne i can be transparent with...who i can turn myself completely inside out with and not have to worry about them judging or ridiculing me.....this sounds quite cliche' but it is wut it is........i now no wut im looking for...and now i can make my moves....towards finding this person.......wish me luck!!! ;)

What kind of person?

This is a vastly open question...lol i culd say any thing....but i already got a target......no names need to be dropped just a few action...you'll prolly figure out who this is....who it sounds like....who you think u no.....my previous posts reflect these events and now its time for sum shit to hit the fan......what kind of person be-friends some one and then proceeds to constantly abuse the friendship...i mean this is ridiculous.......you really cant do shit for yourself...lets see how far you go now that youve burned most of your bridges....its really sad that u only got a handful left... and those are only there because the wool is so thick over there eyes.....one of em is incapable of seeing because they have no fucking mental capacity.no sense of reason or morality..its makes no since....you no who u r...u gotta look at that face every night......lol.....and theres another....this guy....haha ive got sum words for ya but ill save em...the only reason ur not taken a flamethrowe to this mother fucker yourself is cause ur a co-dependent...u need him just as he needs u...u aint got shit else.....and i save the true reason for ur ability to put up with his shit cause i wuldnt wanna put the obvious on blast......WHat kind of Person? U know that feeling u get wen sumone tells u not to do sumthing.....everyone does...but how about if a friend...yo dawg..ur homeboy, even brother......asks u not to do something...like: not try and "get at " ur cousins girl......or one of your friends...just asks politely....y cant you geet a clue..ur a shady backstabbing sneaky lil....snake......caniving ur way around getting ur wants and needs out people....using them...until they eventually see u for the horrible fake-ass nigga that u are....oh wow....thats it u r the apitomy of a NIGGAH..i finally the definition...tisk tisk..my..nig..wait no...not my nig....bacjk to the question.....WHat kind of person? lol.....wut kind of person does it take to b a nympho...is it that bad that u gotta turn ur loins onto ur supposed HOMEBOYS girls, Xes, GF's, wut kind of person is so grimey that he wuld take advantage of any of those.....and then smile in the face of his "friend"...hiding away your little secrets from thos whom you offended but cant help but tell everyone around them....thats just dumb....y wuld u do that knowing it wuld get back to them eventually...Thats real boys........even if we no itll hurt we still gotta put things out on the table..it draws us closer but youd no nuthin bout that.. What kind of person find enjoyment in what u did!!!! U know what im talking bout its fucking sick,,who does that...or atleast who goes around and tells ppl you did it...i have to say ur lucky u where shacked up in that lil fort youve procured for yourself cause swear......ooh boy......No names or buildings will be mention dont fret too much......believe me everyone who reads this is going assume you...thats just the mark u leave behind..like a bad taste in someones mouth...dont nobody like you...they may put up with you but on tha for real...u have nuthin....nobody.....

be real!!!

i had a lot of fun this weekend...partied...and all other sorts of shizz....but i came out with a realization......I am real.....now no one can efficiently be real 100% of the time but i think i do a gud job......I used to hide everything and few ppl new wut was on my mind but now ive got a lil more F*** it in my system and i do for me......It came plain and simple to me, basically i was blessed the few ppl who actually give a f***, and i thank god for each one but other than them nobody gives a flying F*** about me or my well-being......they come in all shapes and sizes, colors and hues....some even pose so well that they go undetected....even to the point where my mind couldnt even fathom their trechery......but you no what its aight...imma do me....screw all theses fake, skeemin, envious, hatin ass niggas....imma do me and keep me happy, do wut i want....its so sad because wen ur fake, not only do you burn the bridges to those closest to you, you affect their relationships with others.....i cant be friends with sum one who is influenced by these fake MF ers. sry, but i dont have time for that shit .If u can truly get with wut im saying i applaud u but for all yall dagger-weilding, non-swagg-having-dick-ridin.....niggas hop off....find sumone else to "leech" off of im building my life-forcee making my name, aint nuthin gone stop that so get wit it or or just do yourself a favor and take 11 tylenol to get rid of my headaches ..This is a message to a couple people i know...both genuine and not.....if u got tagged in this u fall somewhere in it...its up to you to realize where u fall...ive made my piece...

FINDING myself

well well....we all no that we constantly change over the years...my biggest changes have happened in the last year....ive realized that part of is still left but most has just gone out the window...there no room for old me..i had change to survive....oh well cant wait to unleash the new me...hehehehehe

"Arrangements"

Boy oh boy i have a new word ladies and guys.....its called an ARRANGEMENT...hahaha
Ive been noticing a lot of promiscuity going on around me. Ive dun my research and came to the observation that this promiscuity comes from the diminishing value of the sexual act. In this day and age sex has become less of a means of procreation but a "fun pass-time" amongst young folk. Personally i don't believe in this hunk of malarky. Sex shuld be put closer to its more colonial, more sacred roots...but n e ways....back to this so called "arrangement"...lol well it seems individuals who may like each other but wuld like to persue other ppl or are not ready for a title that is drug along with and actual relationship are coming together for congigul visits......similar to F*** buddies but with more probability of emotion......involved.......this has become a growing phenomenon....atleast around where im at......its quite funny i thought id just shar this with yal...hahahahhaa

OMFG!!!!

OMFG!!!! i cannot believe what i found out... Yall prolly already have seen this but i heard that in Beyonces video for single ladies, one of her dance partners was a guy?..omfg!! This type of trickery is unnaccepable and the FCC should be notified check the video out for yourself, its the he/she of the left, "the darker one of the "girls"......This is an abomination, a disgrace...utterly appauling......i think im bout to vomit....ewww

update!!!

Update...its march 1st.....hmm im pretty gud...no beef..(that i know of)....nothin holding me back im actually feeling a lil happier these days...but ne ways spring break soon oh yeah.....

Too nice!!!!

Its been a while since my last post...so heres a doozy...lol

People know me, they know who i am and what i stand for....but is that what i truly want to be...i dont kno sumtimes....yeah im nice, im cool.....but this isnt all god...the price i pay for this is too great.....i ve been paying for it for the longest my funds are low....im tired of this "nice guy" role...it doesnt do much for me other than for my image...im not happy...im not satisfied.....idk what i am to do about this......shuld i just say F*** it and just do for me 100% of the time...that has its draw-backs...but the rewards wuld be great and swift...this delayed gratification is starting to get to me...how long am i supposed to wait for my destiny, my peace....until then i must weigh my variables and choose...im lost and have no means in which to find my way back.....who knows what is in store for me down the road.......this sux!!!

YOU SAY YOUR MY FRIEND!!!!

You say you're my friend?
Last time i checked friends help each other out/ last time i checked you really don't do much of shit for me.
You say you're my friend?
Last time i checked friends valued each others word n o matter what/ last time i checked all you do is snake your way around behind my back despite what i say
You say you're my friend?
Last time i checked friends had each others back/ last time i checked u constantly you are constantly letting me down when i'm always there for you
You say you're my friend?
Last time i checked friends don't lie to each other/ last time i checked you are constantly lying to cover up your character flaws
You say you're my friend?
Well i say you're not and last time i checked we are no longer friends!!!

ITS SAD!!!

try,, lord i try...youve got too many fuck ups on this earth im sorry....ppl just dont listen..they dont have to follow my word to the T just enough to get out of their screwed up ways and situations.....im done...I surender...fuck em idc anymore..they do what they do...its their life....i have 1 or 2 more issues to deal with but after that im totally done..im in it for just me from now on..thats the only way to go...ppl dont deserve the help...im out!!!!! YOU'VE LOST A GOOD ONE!!!!

Whats that they say about a dead limb...cutt it off???

You say you're my friend?
Last time i checked friends help each other out/ last time i checked you really don't do much of shit for me.
You say you're my friend?
Last time i checked friends valued each others word n o matter what/ last time i checked all you do is snake your way around behind my back despite what i say
You say you're my friend?
Last time i checked friends had each others back/ last time i checked u constantly you are constantly letting me down when i'm always there for you
You say you're my friend?
Last time i checked friends don't lie to each other/ last time i checked you are constantly lying to cover up your flaws as a friend
You say you're my friend?
Well i say you're not and last time i checked we are no longer friends!!!

RANDOM VID!!!

I was randomly searching youtube and found this video....ENJOY....

GIZMO ReViEw!!!!!!

#1

I have always loved gadget reviews....and since im always getting new gadgets i figured that id start doin my own....lol...well # 1 is gonna b...the Fujifilm FinePix S1000fd...slr digital camera..

I just ordered this and it should be here in the next couple day but here are some specs on it.....

1. 10.0 Megapixels
   
2. 12x Optical/5.7x Digital Zoom
3. memory via Built-in , SD Card, xD Picture Card or SDHC Card
4. 2.7 in LCD screen

Well those r some specs...but i will give a more in depth review once i get to play with it a lil...

Results of Play:





Next Gizmo: Casio CTK5000 61-key portable keyboard

FrIeNd!!!

IF YOU LOVE [[ME]] (as a [[FRIEND]] ) [[you'll]] read the whole thing. What would [[you]] do if for every moment [[you]] were truly happy there would be [[10]] moments of sadness? What would [[you]] do if [[your best friend]] died tomorrow and [[you]] never got to tell [[them]] how [[you]] felt? So, [[I]] just wanted to say, even if [[I]] never talk to [[you]] again in my life, [[you]] are special to [[me]] and [[you]] have made a difference in [[my]] life. I look up to [[you]], respect [[you]], and truly cherish [[you]].Remember, [[everyone]] needs a [[friend]]. dont ever leave the one [[you]] love for the one [[YOU]] like, because the one [[you]] like will leave [[you]] for the one [[they]] love.

KEEP [[UR]] HEAD UP!

If [[you]] wake up in a red room with no windows and doors, DON'T panic.. [[you're]] just in my heart!!!

Great Quote #1

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together". - Marilyn Manson

SOUNDTRACK of ME!!!!

1. RAIN MAN.........LIL WAYNE
2. CRUSH.................DAVID ARCHULETA
3. COLDEST WINTER.............KANYE WEST
4. FREEZE.......T-PAIN
5. AINT I (remix).......YUNG LA
6. SWAG-ON.....SOULJA BOY
7. SOMETHING......ESCAPE the FATE
8. ICEBOX.........OMARION
9. TEARS DONT FALL....BULLET FOR MY VALENTINE
10. GIRL UR WHAT I NEED............RAY J
11. SUPERHUMAN.....CHRIS BROWN
12. HUSTLAZ AMBITION...........YOUNG JEEZY
13. UMMA DO ME.......ROCKO
14. SUPERMAN.......EMINEM
15. BAD NEWS.......KANYE WEST
16. CUPID.......112

did you know?

35 ppl each year ateempt suicide by jumping off the Brooklyn bridge....most of them due to broken hearts.....

---------MIND F**Ker--------

lol...i dont what it is...is it a gift or a curse...should i use it for good or evil? i just do...it....i like it...idk y..i just do...heres my secret....i dont talk much around strangers or ppl i just met..few ppl really know me...and thats on perpose....its funny cuz i meet ppl and know more about them then they do of me almost 100% of the time...im an observer i sit back and watch you...watch you move think and act...so that i can predict ur every move...i like control..and being in control revolves solely on how much you know of the situation u r in or going into.....but n e wayz....i manifest myself in ur mind leaving seeds as i go...to blossom later in thought.....ill get in head and from there i will burrow my way down into your heart and once that happens theres no turning back...ive got you...i wont go away...and sum are lucky..that doesnt happen...i just get in their head and squeeze teir mind for all its worth..and that is me Mind F**ker..lol its fun...but hey..itll b alright....

---------HAPPYNESS------

what is true happiness? Hmmm...idk...Its different for everyone...for sum its a person, a place, or somthing...everyone deep inside has atleast one thing that brings them the most joy....it can be food, an activity, or even other ppls happiness...If you think you are an exception to the rule...think again....reach down deep and look, THERE IS SOMETHING....everyone deserves happiness...find yours and indulge.....

question?

This is to the ladies......what is it about bad guys that attracts you?

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

OMFG!!! The Underworld prequel is coming out on the 23rd of this month....im stoked...and you should be too, that is if you like vampires or werewolves or both. This time around the blood feud between the vampires ands lycans will be explained. In how much detail, your guess is as good as mine but either way... im seeing. There is one problem so far though......the beautiful kate beckinsale was not casted in this one...boooo...but the also beautiful Rhon Mitra (Doomsday, Skinwalkers) is the new babe of this film. MOst of the original cast is returing this time for the start of this epic trilogy.... Underworld : Rise of the lycans in theaters jan. 23

guys, GuYs, GUYS

This is gonna be a great topic…….Its funny to me as I sit back and observe the reaction between guys and girls. Its so funny its ridiculous. Scientists would say the opposites attract and I would agree, but not in this case. Men, women, guys, girl, males, and females are so similar its retarded. Other than being the same species we think alike feel alike and have the same natural reflexes. It actually scares me some times because its these similarities that we hate about each other. Well not necessarily hate but just dislike a lil. I may be called a traitor and hung for this but I want the world to know what I have noticed. In the past few years we men have progressed in intelligence. Well I don’t know if its progression or we are finally tapping into what was there all along. Its pretty sad either way in my opinion but I digress. I have been noticing that men are becoming more humble to their feelings and that “im so hard” mentality is starting to slowly diminish. There will always be those extreme guys who say that they will never bow to there feelings when in fact its quite obvious that’s as human beings we are driven by what we feel and our emotions, females as well as males. Finally, its ok to express yourself for who you really are and stop fakin. I have gotten this so long ago but if guys would realize the similarities between them and women it would be much easier to get along with them. Easier to be in relationships and so forth. Its ridiculous how long its taken for the picture to be painted but its better late than never…….EMOTION…it drives us all and im tired of watching as my friends and other guys around me try and bottle it up….just say how you feel, and although its not easy, at least let someone know its there Damn!!!!……..It takes a bigger man to show his true feelings…..any guy who can do so is harder than any wanna be gangsta….and women respect you for it too….its simple, just be you…….peace

-------------Going Back to Skool-------------

Boy o boy, I’m counting down the days till we go back to school. I just can’t wait to see all my peoples and finally be back on my own again. Not to mention I’ve got like the easiest friggin schedule this semester. A lot of things have changed with me over break so far and I look forward to seeing the new me’s reaction to college life. Over the summer I changed and had a blast fall semester. Now ive evolved even further and spring semester is gonna be spectacular………. I can’t wait……

FrIeNdS!!! :)

“Friends, how many of us have them” as whodini would say. Do you have friends? I do. Now ask yourself do I really have “FRIENDS”? I guarantee there are some people that don’t. You may have people you know aka ACQUAINTANCES, but do you have any real friends. People who you know inside out as they do you. People who genuinely care for you as you do them. People who would never betray you or leave your side. People who “Gotch yo back”…..lol.. People who would do anything for you. People who would be there when no one even family are there to help. I can truthfully say I have a few of these. If you recall my “New Years Revelation” entry how I broke the windows in my garage, a couple of my friends took care of me……but there was one who showed his true colors and friendship. There will be no name dropping but he took took care of me by getting the windows fixed be 4 my parents got home. He did this on his own accord…I was knocked the hell out when he took care of it…. This is the kind of friend that everyone needs. One that holds you down till the end. And all I have to say is…….find one as soon as possible…you never know when you need that shoulder or ear…

Temptation

In life they say many things are b****es, for example, “life‘s a b****”, “paybacks a b****”, and “TEMPTATION is a B****”. I’m gonna talk about the last one. Temptation is a B**** if I have ever seen one. Its amazing how vast of a range temptation has. Every person on this earth is tempted by something everyday. It’s a good thing that temptation is positive and negative. I, from personal experience feel as though temptation is a chance to test your will or your restraint. Your temperance is definitely tested each day. All you can do is choose what to do when the time comes. Although anything can be tempting, the more powerful temptations tend to be neutral (between good and bad) and bad. It makes perfect sense, because the good things are easy to give into, where-as the not-so-good things are harder. But anyways…..don’t give into temptation all the time, pick your battles wisely because once you do something theres no taking it back………….

New Years Eve Revelation!!!!

Wow! This new years eve was crazy......other than having an awesome time with my friends, sum old sum new. when all of a sudden i had a breakdown. Every single negavtive thingin myy life from my relationship issues, my grandmother passing, my friends problems, my families problems, i just lost it. For the record this is the first time anything like this has ever happened. I have no anger management issues what so ever. I just became enraged at the situation, unfortunatley due to the emotion i put into everything i do. Most people do not know or understand this about me so their discretion is minimal. I hide it well and my disappointment in some people is soooo great....but i continue to hide it and that is what happened i couldnt hide it. I screamed, i cried and got pretty physical with my garage windows, injuring my hand pretty bad. Thank goodness i have the friends that i do. They took care of me. But more importantly i have learned a couple lessons from this........1. i realized that i had putting everyone else before me. and u cant help anyone unless u help yourself....2. I learned that holding in your frustration with yourself or others is not healthy st all, you must have a release....write swim, work out, even sex..will suffice....3. The most obvious of the lessons is that when you punch glass you get hurt so dont DO IT!!!! lol Ps. If it wasnt for my wonderful friends, i may not be here right now or things culda been much worse....its kinda funny though i wulda never been n this situation without them..lol well hey im not gettin rid of em so heres to many more adventures...uu guys know who u r...i love you!!!

-----Silent Soldier----

I lurk in the shadows of confrontation, hide behind walls in conversation, i dare not expose myself for the fear of taking a fatal blow from my enemies. Mine enemies armies can be swift and vast, i must dodge their hateful amnunition. My enemies indeed are selfish creatures who indulge in lifes benefits not stopping to think about how it affects them in the long run,
the character demolition that occurs with this carelessness. They can be helped but it will be hard, but until then I must be silent and observant. Ever vigilant my eye is to find ones
who need me. Some think of me as a hero, a messiah, a savior. I have no cape or tights, nor have i bared a cross. All i know is the basic principle of right and wrong and a true want to bring upon change and with that i will stand to fight against the horrrors of the world......swiftly i will swoop down and transform people one at a time with my words and ideology, its all relavent, im not special, everyone has the same capacities in which i posess, its only a matter of choosing to listen. But until people decide to reach down deep and better themselves as people i will reamin in the darkness..................waiting.........as a silent soldier....

Cardinal Virtues

There are four virtues in which i pride myself on. For those of you who may not be grasping the concept of the virtue, basically here are some adjectives: morals, rules, guidelines.....get it? Anyways, lol, These rules, these guidelines, even if not followed to the T will help you succeed in all aspects of life. But i must warn you, only those who are strong and truly feel this is the way for them will reap the benefits that come with them. They are:

1. Prudence - The ability to choose the appropriate action at a given point in time. The right thing, even if it is hard....a prudent person will do the right thing.
2. Justice - The proper moderation between self-interest and the rights and needs of others. Basically selflessness.
3. Temperance - Self-control, abstention and moderation
   
4. Fortitude - Forebearance, endurance, the ability to confront fear or uncertainty.

The Agenda!!!!

This is a preview of works in progress:
- Girls v.s. Guys (similarities/differences things u wulda never known)
- The Real World (Its hard out there step up)
- Silent Soldier (I am the Silent Soldier)
- Temptation (The dark side)
- Cardinal Virtues (The basis of my moral structure)
- My internship experience (self-explanatory)
- New Years Eve Revelation (self-explanatory)
- Friends (They come a dime a dozen but do you know when uve got a real one)
- Going back to school (Cant wait....may the change begin)

No one listens to Mikey!!!

"Mike help me!!!!", "Mike can i talk to you"
Its the same ol same ol.......im a nice person and will help anyone who needs my help......but you know wut rele grinds my gears......wut grinds my gears is wen people come to me for help...but try and fight it or just dont listen......and the worst is when they dont listen and then come back again. I can personally think of 4 of these exact scenarios that have occurred in the last couple months.... i could just stop helpin ppl..but thats my nature and i cant...even if i wanted too. All i can do is watch people make the same mistakes over and over and over again. It actually hurts cause i care and i dont want to see anyone in pain...mentally or physically.....whats wrong with yalll please STOP being so F***in stupid. Ur only hurting yourself....PEACE!!!

Warning!!

Warning warning........for those of you who read my blog...i just want to straighten sumthing out. This blog to me is sum-what like a journal or diary of sorts so what i says comes from the very fiber of my being and even though in the entries to come i may boost myself or try to make myself look i want you to open your eyes to the possibility that this is no hype. As a matter of fact its not posiblity it is what it is. I dont believe in slef-promotion unless its true. Nothing on this blog is fake, only true feelings allowed.......sknaht!

Way by: Phillip Landrey (this feeling sux)

Daylight breaks through equal bliss,
All the reruns consume our history.
Falling from grace,
I hope you’ll come sit by me.
All I wish is your hand,
It’s the entrance to your soul.
Each dream I had about you,
Got lost or thrown away;
I can’t wait forever,
Can’t you kiss me now?

All the poems I wrote,
Died and burned away.
You took another man,
After stealing my heart;
It cracked in two,
One for hate the other for you.
Didn’t I wait long enough?
Leaving it for the perfect time.
I can’t look at you now,
Won’t you turn away?

It’s lonely where I am now,
But I can’t turn away.
I think about you all the time,
Won’t you come listen to me?
Maybe one day I’ll get your kiss,
So I’ll feel your lips,
I won’t let the moment pass me by,
Please stay as the star in my sky;
Each day is lost without you.
Maybe one day it’ll turn out my way!

PPL Just Don't listen!!(old)

Why is it that ppl dont listen. Some of lifes lessons wouldnt be so hard to learn if ppl would just listen. Just remember that advice from those who love you isnt offered to hurt but to help or spare you.........SOme lessons must be learned the hard way and i feel bad for those who must endure them in this way.......i guess this why they say.........I told you so....................... :(

U wAnT Me To Be MoRe Open?

i dont know if this is truly me or what u want me to be
he doesnt deserve to call you his own
many times he has tripped up in the race to your heart
i dont know if this is me or who you want me to be
i dont know if im the the marathon runner to satisfy your races needs
i can try though, im n good shape i can do it
i can give you everything you need with an unflinching stride
we both know what we want but exile it due to concrete wall distractions
jump it jump it, jump the wall and see what you have been needing for the longest time
not a temporary releases every once and a while but one for every moment minute hour you need or want it
i dont know if this is me or who you want me to be
im just talking
spilling everything inside to you for you to digest
you say you ALLready know but how can you
you dont know the begining
please
look deep into yourself and see what is right
may it be a sign to move on or hold tight to where you are
when you know where you are most likely will bring you pain agian and again
excuse the mispells and the errors im n ot myself at the momnet but the message is gettin through just as clear
we are friends to a great extent and i hope this doesnt hurt that feeling we have but i just have to say
wo
this is a long note i never thought i had enuff to say to fill one these but i have said it
i dont know what it is but i you just ignite a fire deep within that has never been touched before
since the day i lay eyes upon your person a giant question mark has been there
now i know wut this means and now the question is shuld it be left alone or extinguished.............
but all i can do now is wait
..........................

.....................
.................................................
.....................................................
waiting wait i shall
and keep waiting i will until you come to your senses and realize what is ryte for you
i dont know if this is me or who you want me to be
i am coming back down from this heavenly high
and the words are beginning choked
so be fore i become my sheltered self again i wish to only say
that i love you.......girl......lady.......friend.....?
(its ok im lubricated)(inside joke)
sry

Disappointment.....

I am so so so so so so disappointed in people today. It's ridiculous how people carry themselves. Not to say that i dont have any flaws because i do but people today have lowered their standards of living, not financialy but mentally and morally. Morality is going out the window at an exponential rate and soon people like me will be phased out along with the knights in shining armor, and true gentlemen. It pains me to see the way we treat eacher in this time and age. You have those who think they are better than everyone else, those who are constantly bringing others down for their own amusement, you've got those folks who who no heart what so ever, no feelings for anyone but themselves. It is these kinds of people that disappoint me, and what makes it worse is that it not rare to find people with atleast one of theses traits. Its actually rarer to find people who dont, or people who do these things minimally. People today, revel in the idea that being hard and care-free is the way to got and brings the most benefits. They say "nice guys finish last" and whoever said can't be any more correct because personally i know this feeling, but in no matter what you do in life you always win in a way, no matter how miniscul you may think it is you do. Nice guys may finish last but they are always happy in the end. Like the tortoise and the hare, slow and steady wins the race. We needs to raise or moral standards and realize that you doont always have to win right now or even in a little while, but eventually you will prosper if you stay stedfast in your beliefs and be unhiltered by the social BUllshit that is being pumped out today. Rise up and fight, fight the slow decay of our social culture and progress as a race to better people..............